History of Dating

The concept of dating has been through many phases throughout the centuries.  Courtship used to be something that women were forced into.  The father of the girl, required her to be married.  The man who was interested in the girl would come over and they would have a monitored visit.  Usually, a sitting room was intended for this very purpose and the parents would act as chaperones.  After a respectable relationship had been made, the man would then ask the father for permission to marry his daughter.  This form of courtship is a typical “biblical” relationship. 

During ancient times, many women were not given the opportunity to date before marriage.  When there was a scarcity of women, the men would go on the hunt for a new wife.  He would capture her and force her to go where ever he went.  The woman’s previous husband would often come in search for her.  For this reason, the man and his new wife would have to go into hiding.  Arranged marriages were also very popular.  In many countries, they still exist today.  Usually, there is some form of business arrangement, or money, involved with an arranged marriage.  While the woman has no idea that the arrangement was made, she only knows that she is forced to marry the man.  Usually, the man will offer the father a specific amount of money for his daughter’s hand in marriage.  When there is a large amount of money available, the man will often support the woman’s family for the rest of their lives.

Medieval times were the birth of chivalry.  While chivalry was first started due to the guards wanting the approval from the queen, men took on this form of romance for other uses.  Actions such as opening a door for a woman, writing a sonnet, or bringing flowers are all very popular forms of chivalry.  Arranged marriages were still the most popular form of courtship.  The man who was intended to marry the woman would use chivalry to woo her and make her love him.  The idea of having love present in the marriage was becoming very important.  Women were forced to wear chastity belts until marriage to protect their virginity.  Women were not allowed to propose to a man until 1228.  The right became legal in Scotland, and was later made legal in Europe.

Couples who wished to spend a night together before marriage still had restrictions.  The girls were required to wear a “bundle bag” around their legs.  The bag was usually hand sewn by the mother prior to the stay.  Other devices, such as a board placed between the couple to act as a wall, were enforced as well.  Dating in our society today has changed greatly from past romance.  The days of fanciful courtship no longer exists.  Gone are the days when couples would date from the confines of the parlor room.  In many countries, the woman has the option as to who she wants to marry.  She can also date prior to marriage.  There are still some men out there who are traditional and believe in chivalry.  However, there are very few and hard to come by.